A Stranger Within Me is Lurking in the Dark... and I Welcome It.

It knows all my secrets and I sense a confrontation.

Su


The Power of Self-Study: A Lesson in the Dark
A perfect May evening wrapped the world in its warm embrace, just two days after an eventful birthday. The night was alive, humming with the soft whisper of the breeze, the distant laughter of nocturnal wanderers, and the rhythmic tapping of my fingers against the keyboard.
I had been wrestling with my draft all day—starting, stopping, getting distracted, only to restart again. Life, as always, had its interruptions. But now, at last, the world had quieted, and it was just me, my thoughts, and the glowing screen. The temptation to slip outside for a moonlit stroll teased me, but discipline held me in place. I had a mission: to conquer my impulsivity, to push through and finish what I had started. And I did.
As the final words fell into place, an intoxicating rush of dopamine flooded my system. That exhilarating high, the silent triumph of completion, wrapped around me like a warm cloak. With a self-satisfied stretch and an invisible pat on my back, I began winding down for bed.
Yet, something felt... off.
It wasn’t exhaustion. It wasn’t restlessness. It was a peculiar, alien sensation—like I was out of sync with reality, like the air around me had thickened, distorting the familiar into something subtly foreign.
I shook it off, blaming fatigue, and moved through my bedtime routine. But as I turned off the lights and settled into bed, the feeling grew. The shadows in the corners of the room stretched longer than they should. The silence felt... too silent. A weight, unseen but palpable, pressed against my chest.
And then it hit me—an irrational, yet undeniable certainty: I was not alone.
A Feeling from Deep Within
A chill crept up my spine, my heart pounding against my ribs. I held my breath, listening. Nothing. No footsteps, no whispers. Just that eerie, suffocating presence.
Then, a shift. Not in the room, but inside me.
Why was I afraid? What was I expecting? A monster lurking in the dark? An invisible force waiting to pounce? No. The fear wasn’t about something external—it was the echo of old doubts, the ghosts of failures, the weight of past struggles whispering in the silence.
But I had already won. Not just tonight, but every night before when I had pushed through self-doubt, when I had chosen action over hesitation, creation over stagnation. And I would win again.
With a deep breath, I let the fear go. I embraced the quiet, let the unease settle, and then dissolved into nothing. Because at the heart of it all, optimism wasn’t just about expecting good things—it was about knowing that no matter what lurked in the shadows, I had the power to stand tall.
And with that thought, I closed my eyes and slept.
After all, tomorrow is a brand new day and there will be new stories to pursue.
Just like there will be new realisations to find out more about who we are and what our purpose is this go round.
—∆—

Love and light ❤️🗽

René