The Incredible Story Of The Building that Roast Cars
The Incredible Story Of The Building that Roast Cars
As implausible as that sounds, it actually happened.
Lolo Villanueva had a great day at the office. His boss praised him for a well-done job when he sealed the deal with GM for an excellent contract that benefitted his company immensely. If that wasn’t good enough, he made a nice chunk of money on the promised bonus, a percentage of shared stock value for his company, and a bunch of tradeable bonds available to him when he pleased to cash them in.
Lolo had a great day at the office, alright.
They all heard the news, so they congratulated him accordingly. Even Sylvia, the intern who had been his love interest since she started working on the same floor, was ecstatic about the event and rushed to be one of the first to congratulate him. “Bravo, Lolo, you did it!” she said, grinning.
It was one of the best days he had had in a long time.
In Madrid, those days don’t happen very often. Some say it’s because the best is yet to come. He always wondered who said that.
Things were about to change drastically in a few minutes.
He reached for the elevator as it was time to go home. For all purposes, it was all said and done at work. One last thing was the only spoiler for the day. Thinking it was a winning move, he built up enough courage to ask Sylvia for dinner, which she refused, explaining she was taken. That was a bad, bad idea, he thought to himself. ‘I should’ve known to ask first if she was compromised.’
He always thought positively, and now, he thinks anything can change; one never knows with young, pretty people and their relationships. Today, they are drooling over each other. Tomorrow, they treat one another like strangers. He knew there’d be other chances. She will accept soon enough, he thought.
Lolo walked out of that building, and the horror of what he saw won’t soon be forgotten.
Surrounded by curious onlookers, his brand-new Ferrari is melting in the middle of the street. Melting.
“What the fuck!” he shouted.
Wtf, wtf, wtf!!!
“Oh, don’t worry, firefighters are on the way,” said a woman watching the scene, who heard him so exasperated.
“What fire…what happened? This is my car!!!” he replied.
“Oh, dear. So sorry, I didn’t know,” said the woman.
A sandwich maker from the corner bistro, Bartolo, who knew him, said, “Lolo! Your car?” he asked.
“Fucking hell! What happened here?!!?”
Bartolo explains, “Well, they are all saying the car just started melting, just like that. No one seems to know why, but they were all looking.”
“Looking? My car is melting like guhdamn ice-cream in the Sahara, and you tell me they were looking?"
“Well, I haven’t seen it when it happened, but that’s what THEY are saying: ” Don’t get mad at me; I didn’t do it.”
“Oh, my God!! This is a 250K Ferrari Portofino! And I just bought it. Had it for just a week!!”
Another bystander asked, “Don’t you have insurance?”
“Not yet! I took it out for a ride and called the agency, saying that I was buying it. That’s all! I was planning to get insurance later.”
People heard that, and all turned towards him, and like in a chorus line, asked, “NO INSURANCE???”
He only managed to throw his hands to his face, mumbling something that sounded like, No, no, no, no!… Then, a visceral yell, “NOOOOOO!!!!”
The primordial scream wasn’t yet over when the firefighters got there. Even though there was no fire,
They asked the onlookers to move away, and the captain looked at that mass of remodelled molten metal and said, “Ha! Another one.”
“OK, guys! Bring it!” He yells to his subordinates.
“Wait, bring what? That is my car!” he said, almost crying.
“You mean, ‘was’ your car”
“Funny, very funny, chief! That thing you see there cost me $250,000!
“You should have stuck to a Volvo!” Hahahaha!!
“OMG! What’s wrong with you!???” a livid Lolo roared.
The captain didn’t answer. Instead, he coordinated the actions and opened the valves of polymer-glycol and lots of water to cool down the metal.
“Ok, ok… Look over there,” as he pointed towards a skyscraper. That building is the culprit. It burned your car, well, melted it, really.”
“The building?” an incredulous Lolo asked.
“Yep, believe it or not. The building did it. Hehehehe!
Realizing he was being untactful, he added, “Sorry, it sounded funny when I said it.”
“Fuck me! I don’t care about jokes right now. I don’t have insurance, you understand?”
Again, just like a play on a play, all the firefighters turned around and, in a chorus line, asked, “NO INSURANCE?!?”
It was too much for Lolo to take. He needed some answers, and quickly. He took the chief to the side, asking him: “Please, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Only if you are going to be nice. Don’t shout at me. I’m not here for that. Besides, it’s nap time in Madrid.”
“No, no, I won’t. I just want to ask you, what’s happening here? What’s going on? Please, please tell me.”
“Well, the idiot architect who constructed that beast of a building gave it a convex shape that acts like a magnifying glass with the sun, so… it melted the fuck out of your car with a sun-ray. And you are not alone. Several other cars also burned out, and that’s not the only building in Madrid that…
“Ok, ok, I got it! Lolo interrupted.
“So, what can I do?
“Hm. If I were you, I’d buy a car that won’t melt... I’m kidding, just kidding. Get a lawyer and sue the shit out of that builder, the owner, the ‘architect’, his mama, his brothers, and every sibling he may have. Then, sue the city. Shit, sue everybody.”
“That’s your advice?”
“What, you got a better one?”
No, no, I’m just saying, My car…ugh!... Never mind.” Lolo said, walking around in circles.
“Yeah, buddy, never mind is right; nothing can be done; even the insides are cooked; the seats, the tyres, the shit in the boot... all gone. So yeah, that’s my advice.”
“C’mon, guys, hurry up with the cooler; soak it all with it. Now! It’s nap time.
After-lunch siestas are a sacred affair in Madrid. They take two to three hours religiously before returning to work. Before he knew it, all the curious spectators had left the scene for their respective rest, like a message from the heavens.
“Ok, it was a joy to meet you, buddy. I've got to run,” the captain said.
“Some joy that was!” Lolo shot back.
"C'mon, lighten up; no one died, relax.”
“No one died? Do you want to check my organs? My burn is worse than the damage to my Ferrari. I’m burning inside. I had that car for a week.”
“Yeah, that’s tough.”
Then again, addressing his crew: “Ok, all done!!! Let’s wrap it up, boys! He yells.
As the unit’s leaving, the chief yells from the back of a jeep, “Get a Catalan for a lawyer. The rest will take you to the cleaners. Oops, you’re already there, sorry! hahahaha! Good luck, buddy!”
Lolo was left alone on that Madrid street. He and his burned-up car staring at each other.
It was almost a great day, Lolo thought to himself. Now, even if Sylvia were to take him up on his offer, he doesn't even have a car to pick her up. He’ll have to call a taxi.
~o~
This $1.7 Billion Dollar Skyscraper Melts Cars
As it was, once upon a time…
~o~
If you enjoy my stories, you can buy me a coffee here.
Thanks for reading!
Astounding and amazing! 🥲
No I can’t. His reaction was very realistic!
I can’t believe I missed it.