The Crucial Importance of Saying 'Yes' More Often

"Some may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." ~John Lennon

Photo by Pablo de la Fuente on Unsplash

Creating your future with more Yes

Right next to love, “Yes” is one of the most powerful word today in the English language.

I’ll explain…

Yes, and its antonym, No, are probably two of the most heavily used adverbs. I didn't do the research, but it sounds right.

As a matter of fact, this article doesn't require research. Not really. It could include history. But can anyone argue they aren’t the most straightforward words ever?

Because I believe they are. A person might not speak any language yet, but "yes" and "no" are the first ones to learn. They are unmatched by any other noun/adverb in any country, language, or dialect. Even the mimes used them.

A definite YES is well understood. If we are starving and offered food after a long trek home, then our yes! will not be misunderstood. Our eyes and entire body language would be saying, "Feed me!". We don't care about anything else until our belly is satisfied.

The meaning of NO

Same with no. Another definite.

“No” is a powerful word. “No means no” has been in the news for good reason lately. We males sometimes seem to have forgotten that maxim, and we need to make amends to change that fact quickly. When a woman says no to our advances, we must understand she said no for a reason and respect her boundaries.

Some knuckleheads walk around with the false conviction that a girl says no but means yes. When confronted with the argument against it, they begin to tell everyone stories about how often that has happened to them.

They "insisted," and voilà!, they discovered that she wanted to go further after all. All they needed to do was get her in the mood a little, and she’d be totally into it.

These sickos actually believe what they’re saying. Unfortunately, there are many cases where the girls were shown to be partially willing to participate. Partially because they were offered drugs or alcohol and didn’t know any better. Regardless of whether she might’ve voluntarily consumed any, if she utters, “No!”, that’s it. Hands off. It’s not complicated.

Someday, those men who give the rest of us a bad name will be a thing of the past. It might not happen tomorrow, but it'll happen soon enough. It has to. They are terrible examples of how a man should behave. They know right from wrong, yet they don’t seem fazed by such demeanours. On the other hand, few things are more charming than a kind gentleman with proper manners. He has enough self-esteem and respect. He knows that his actions will define him. And people will remember him for that.

Honourable men are everywhere, and their decency shows with one glance into their eyes. They’re proper, honest, and forthright. They don't need to play the macho game to succeed in dating. Why should they? Those are the types most women would call (between themselves) "a good catch."

These are the types who don't have to be told NO twice. The first time was good enough. Manners and temperament with a different sex are imperative virtues. Unfortunately, the knucklehead who doesn't get it won't learn by watching. And because of that, he'll suffer and make others suffer with him.

The Gentleman’s Way

When a decent gentleman hears a no from his love interest, even if it's about going for a walk, he gets the message. Tomorrow is another day, and he will be better for it. So will she. Outcomes like that are when the magic between two beings manifests itself.

Before he knows it, the same girl who negated him that day realises he is the good catch others talk about. She is willing to take a chance on him. It's so simple and beautiful at the same time.

He waited for a "yes," and it happened. He's far ahead of the brute, who will probably have many life flaws due to a lack of self-respect and dignity.

“No” is necessary, but “Yes"… is beautiful.

The YES Brain

If you think about it, you'll find many more great occasions. They happened and are happening with a simple "Yes" as the answer.

Marriage proposals come to mind.

“Yes” carries the day for so many. A professional hears a “yes” in the morning about a project that came through. It will make his whole day glorious.

It could be a new job, a college admission, or a bonus for a dream vacation.

And then it’s Yesssss, and it has such a beautiful sound...

There are no qualms about it, not in my book. The same goes for our inner dynamics. By that, I mean if we maintain the ‘yes’ brain, we’ll come out ahead. If we walk around with that in mind, I promise you: everything you do will turn out successfully. That includes everyone you meet and even disagreements.

It's almost like having a permanent smile and glow on your face, but without the silly smile.

It's a smile inside of you. A fantastic opportunity has suddenly made your life and everyone around you feel better. It's a vibe.

The Optimist Vibe

It's a complex world. Some people are mad, frustrated, angry, disappointed, sad, and some have had enough and feel defeated. And then you show up like the breeze.

The breeze with a perfect attitude for that energy—the positive vibe—reviving, serene, refreshing. And you'll notice the room changing right in front of you. Of course, the troubles will still be there. People's lives are still in whatever situation, but you are appreciated.

Why? They sense your inner smile and your positive (yes) disposition. You brought over the kindness and peace that were needed. People feel that. We are light beings, and we sense goodness.

Walking with a yes attitude has taken you through a rough morning for others. And now you've made a cocoon of relief. People want to talk to you, confess their faults, seek wisdom, and be like you.

They like your company. Your phenomenal attitude has won them, and you weren't even trying.

Everything you did today, so far was a big YES doing. In the afternoon, after lunch, you’ll return to the office. Typically, life is already waiting, stalking you, setting you up for an ambush. Same thing every day. The mind’s norm: What are you going to do? Or, I can't take this job any more", or one of such anxiety games that she's always playing.

But you are wearing the bulletproof vest from the YES manufacturer—the best ever made—and your mind can't reach you. She's lost and getting mad because you aren't paying her any attention.

She wants you back so she can have her way with you. Then is when you say: No! for the first time since early morning.

And you meant it. It's a clear and decisive NO resounding inside your clear head.

You’re good. Remain that way.

Dealing with Unrelenting Negativity

As soon as we, basic humans, choose to allow less negativity, we will see a big change in our lives. We will enjoy our lives, not just live them.

We must let go, and we must train ourselves to do so. No one can do it for us.

Let go of negativity, first from ourselves, then the negativity that comes from others.

“Be water, my friend.” ~Bruce Lee

Opting for “Yes” will improve the quality of our lives by 100%

When identifying a “No” person, you’ll find the same characteristics in their choice of buddies. Their conversations are most likely on the mean side, cynical, or inconsequential at best. Negativity is like a drug for some people. If they don't have it, they feel sick, lost, and just “off”.

Because that's all they know. It's the comfort zone.

They will have to find their way out of their nightmare lives. You have to take care of yourself.

You’ll also notice that 90% of the time, when people are in a combative mood, they are dealing with stress. In this case, they’d be stress hormones. Cortisol and adrenaline do what they do in preparation for a “fight or flight” syndrome.

It's not a good place to be and not a good feeling to have. 

If or when we find ourselves in a tense situation like that, we must go to our toolbox. We don’t know what they could be going through. Offer them a “Yeah, I hear ya,” (instead of “Calm down!"), and their world will change colours for them. It will no longer be red from fury. It costs you nothing, and you both reap the benefits. 

As you make your comfort zone a yes-world, you have witnessed and are living a miracle in the flesh.

Don't let it go; pay it forward to your loved ones.

Yay or Nay?

~o~

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